One Designer's Zen is Another Designer's...Root Canal

I design and produce my own line of handbags, hence I refer to myself as a "designer." Which would lead one to believe I got involved in this whole crazy biz because I like to design stuff. Yeah...umm...not quite the truth. In fact - the very antithesis of the truth. I hate the design process, and by hate I mean I would quite literally rather deal with getting a root canal than sit down with my sketch book and start dreaming up new bag-tastic concepts.

The root cause of this post is that I've just emerged from the black hole of the design process, and am now happily ensconced my very favorite part of what I do - production! Making sh*t! Gettin' 'er done! (that last one is for my Texas friends.)

I looooooooooove picking out fun fabrics, the whole mixing and matching and (bleeping) stuff up artistically to make the colorful little creations that are the very reason why I leap out of bed every day and can't get to my sewing machine fast enough. This is where I'm at now - cranking out the tangible stuff that I can look at and say "yes, dammit...I freaking made that crazy bag."

So it is in my resurrection from this dark tunnel that I offer a sneak peek at some of the fun little items I've been eeking out over the past few weeks, doing that annoying task of (bleah, shudder) designing.

Card Holders...

...with little "finger straps" to keep them at the ready.

Smart Phone/iPhone Sleeves with...you guessed it - "hand straps" to keep your phone handy as well.

And yes, my inspiration is heavily influenced by my tendency to set down and forget both my business cards and phone wherever I go.

I'm OK

Good poetry (or is this prose?) apparently comes out of heartache. I wrote this almost a year ago and just found it again. Damn.

So I'm posting it for anyone who needs to read it and feel that they're OK too.

(BTW...I'm OK now.)

This isn’t working.

We love each other but we’re not in love.

This past week a relationship lifecycle.

"Hmmm…maybe" is how you feel about this relationship.

Thought we had a breakthrough on Monday, thought telling you what I did meant that we were solid again, tight, fresh and committed.

My expectations were sky high.

I want you to be enthusiastic about being with me.

I want you to want to do things with just me.

I’m going to be OK.

Red Wall, The Aftermath

As promised in my previous post, here are the before and after shots of my new red wall. It took about 2 solid days to prep, paint and get everything back in order (yeah...I don't waste time).

Soooo worth the time and labor...puts a big smile on my face every time I walk in the door.

Before (= boring)...

mid-paint and...

...et voilà! Glorious red.

All Signs Point To...Red Wall

I believe in signs a bit too much, but I like to think that I'm one of those types that is always on the lookout for signs...and therefore they appear to guide my life. Case in point - I've been seriously mulling over the idea of painting yet another red wall in my current apartment. However, not sure if I want to deal with the hassles of painting (set up, clean up, fumes, dry time, scattered dropcloths, kicking over the paint can as I do half the time). But wanting this "color pick-me-up" sooo bad...decisions, decisions...then I woke up this morning and saw this luscious red awesomeness created by RiverGirlsStudio, featuring my red leather Luella shoulder bag (bottom center).

Click here for the full-page view.

So of course you know what that means...heading out to Home Depot for my Behr cranapple. Will post pics of the results later.

No Time to Dwell...2011 Awaits.

In homage to another passing year, some like to recap the highs and lows of said previous year and then dissect how they'll take what they learned and make the upcoming new year even better. Great if it works for you...as for me, rehashing the past year for the umpteenth time is gonna push me over the brink.

For a rehash of my previous year click here, here, here and here. I'm over it though, 2010 was awesome, yes...but it's OVER. Time to start a fresh sheet of paper and write the next chapter. So here is a list of 2011 goals for the first 3 months, to get them out there and make my lazy butt accountable:

1. Giving Back: I talk the talk but want to walk the walk. My dearest cause? Boosting the self-esteem of tween and teenage girls...cuz it kills me to see an 11, 12 or 13 year old girl go from thinking she's nothing short of perfect to suddenly feeling like she'll never be good/smart/pretty/skinny enough due to how most females are portrayed on TV, in magazines, or the likeliest culprit...the curse of adolescent angst that every girl has to go through. And yes - I'm thinking of the boy who told me when I was 12 that if my nose wasn't so big I might be pretty. Of course, now I can't imagine life without my quirky nose and wouldn't change a thing. However...I don't want these girls to have to wait until they're at the ripe ol' age of thirty-something to get right with themselves and their bodies. I want to heed these bad feelings off at the pass and don't want to wait until I have my own pre-teen daughter to do so. So this year, I want to start working with this cause and this cause.
   
2. Meet my husband: Gross...yes - I just said that. But why the hell not? I'm putting it out there. Oh, and by the way - it'll be at Tea Lounge in Park Slope. Why there? At this point in my life I've learned not to question my intuition. It just is.
3. Start making my own clothing: Bored and irritated with the of the lack of options out there, given that what I want only exists in my head anyway (hey, that's how I got started with the whole handbag thing). Once I have my 1-year anniversary of living in NYC (Feb 1) I'll start looking for classes to take at FIT - since I'll qualify for in-state tuition rates. Huzzah!
   
4. Lead or teach something: A sewing class, a running/exercise group, a Spanish conversation group...something. I forever have shied away from being a leader or teacher, but somehow I know there lurks one within me.
5. Choose my words carefully: Not because I tend to put my foot in my mouth...more so I tend to blather on and on...when I can get my point across in fewer words. I've been told this point-blank by several well-meaning friends, so it's on the list of 2011 improvements.
   

And with that final goal - I'm done (no extra blather). Happy New Year - here's to an AWESOME 2011 for all of us!

#reverb: One Moment

This post is part of a daily writing project called #reverb10. Find out more & join in this creative exercise here.

Today's prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

Ah, this is easy. Sept 14, Tuesday. Leaving the office for the last time - the last time - and walking to the subway. Overcast sky, slight wind against my skin as I walked down 14th Street towards 9th Avenue, about 70 degrees. Passing Milk Studios. Listening to iPod, to this song. And the moment occurred precisely 2 minutes into the song. Crescendo bridge. Breeze in my hair, against my skin. Smell of exhaust from passing cabs and buses. Horns honking, idle chatter of passersby. White t-shirt, grey pencil skirt from the Gap, brown funky mary jane Fly shoes. Unable to keep the grin from my face. Scowling faces of passersby who were presumably headed back to the very place I left. Being acutely aware of how weightless, at peace, giggly I felt...and having no recollection of the stress and frustration that place brought me. 3+ years in the making, and it was finally happening. Like stepping from one dimension into another...clouds parted, sun streaming through...one chapter closed and - so officially - one started anew. The blissfully happy chapter that I'm living right now.

#reverb: One Word

Guts.

Kind of a gross word, but if I had to sum up my 2010 in one word it would be that. Guts. When I think back to some of the things I've done this year, I can't believe I had the guts to do them - pack up a U-haul van and drive 4 dangerously icy days with my then-beau from Dallas to NYC in January; moving here while unemployed; quitting a secure day job to pursue my business full-time; ending the comfort and familiarity of a 3+ year relationship with the person I partially moved to NYC to be with.

In the moments of making these decisions there were some things I knew for sure, but for the most part each instance felt like jumping off a high cliff with no certainty of landing safely. The one thing that resonated with each decision was a Buddhist proverb that always pops into my head when dealing with the unknown:

"If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking."

And so I walk...and when I'm feeling not quite as strong as I'd like to feel, I just think of the one word that sums up this year: guts.

And as for 2011? Haha, let's see...I think the most accurate word would be...determination. It's kind of a blah word, but I get goosebumps when I think about what it means for me in the coming year. Focused determination to take my business to the next level, to get out of my creative comfort zone, to take more chances, get to know more people, get out there...now that the hurdle of getting settled in NYC has passed, the heartache of a broken relationship is fading, the fear of being trapped in a nightmare day job is no longer relevant...it's time to get laser focused on moving things to the next level.

This post is part of a daily writing project called #reverb10. Find out more & join in this creative exercise here.